The Spatial Index – Charlie KWONG

Period: Sept – Dec 2022

The Spatial Index is a web-based interactive artwork in which I integrate TV dramas, poems, and the soundtrack of Hong Kong to explore the repetitive pattern of thoughts about immigration and identity presented in these cultural items. The goal is to gain a broader perspective on how Hongkongers from different generations struggle with their sense of home and seek an exit to another country. This cross-generational problem is closely tied to our identity and the loss of our roots. The work expands my practice from video, animation, and moving images to basic coding, enabling the collected and reproduced cultural products to be auto-composed. Viewers will access the webpage for a unique experience, starting with a spatial box that combines visual images from local films and TV dramas, along with an auto-play button for mixing audio.

Transcript:

Cantonese		English
為什麼你說一點，又不說一點？我想知道誰是我的親生父母，為什麼你不告訴我知？		Why do you say a little and don’t say a little? I want to know who my biological parents are, why didn’t you tell me?
不過其實想為你好呀，我想保護你。		But in fact, I want to be good for you, and I want to protect you.
你想飛啊？好吧，你飛啦，你要飛就飛的遠點。你不要有一天讓我曉得，你自己在騙自己。		Do you want to fly? Well, you’re flying, you can fly as far as you want. Don’t let me know one day that you are lying to yourself.
如果我再不說，我怕我會瘋啦！我以為我會沒事的，我常常對自己說，別告訴別人你不開心，勤奮點做事沒什麼事便早點回家睡覺去。我想回家啊。		If I don’t say it again, I’m afraid I’ll go crazy! I thought I would be fine, I often say to myself, don’t tell others that you are unhappy, work hard and go home early if you have nothing to do. I want to go home.
慢慢長夜我都不知道躲在哪兒好。我可睡不着。我不是想走回來的，我答應過自己，說以後也不會再回那兒的。如果我再回去，我一定會好恨我自己。		Slowly the night I don’t know where to hide. I can’t sleep. I didn’t want to go back, I promised myself that I would never go back there again. If I go back again, I will hate myself so much.
我本來想做船員的，但我的媽媽身體不好，家裏有沒有其他人，我只好留下來。		I wanted to be a crew member, but my mom was sick and there was no one else in the family so I had to stay.
你晚晚獨個兒走來走去，悶不悶的？也不算很悶啊。		Are you bored walking around alone at night? Not too boring.
這次走了，我便不回來了。如果你喜歡，跟我一道去吧。假使你不願意，我也不會勉強。		I’m not coming back this time. If you like it, come with me. If you don’t want to, I won’t force it.

好凍呀！做人就要適應環境，銅皮鐵骨也是這樣練成的。但是那邊有暖氣！那麼鏟雪呢？去到那邊什麼事都要親力親為。那為什麼要移民？為下一代！		So freezing! As human being , we need to adapt to the environment, and this is how the copper-like skin and iron-like bones are trained. But there is heating over there! What about shovelling snow? You have to do everything by yourself when you go there. So why immigrate? for the next generation!
嘩！四個便要20多萬。那是個大問題了，我們一早已經把金錢移到加拿大，根本沒有流動資金在手上。		Whoa! Four will cost more than HKD $200,000. That’s a big problem, we’ve moved our money to Canada earlier in the morning and have no liquidity at all.
不要生氣吧，我們都是逼不得已，我們要移民了。移民？是的！所以才叫你搬走，把屋子還給別人。那麼即是你要離開我？你捨得嗎？		Don’t be angry, we are all being forced, we are going to immigrate. Immigration? Yes! That’s why I told you to move out and return the house to someone else. So are you going to leave me? Are you willing to do this?
跟你父母說，那邊的手續已經差不多辦妥。加拿大的地很好，兩旁有大樹遮蔭，有綠油油的草地覆蓋着，不錯！那麼有沒有小狗胡亂大便？聽聞那邊的小狗很乖巧，自己懂得尋找狗廁所，不會胡亂大便，但是人類就很是不同了。		Tell your parents that the immigration application over there is almost done. The land in Canada is very good. There are big trees on both sides for shade and green grass covering it. Not bad! So are there any puppies pooping indiscriminately? I heard that the puppies over there are very well-behaved.
買多一包冰吧，我明天就要移民了。買那麼多的話，冰會溶化的。那麼你把他們放在雪櫃便可以了。再見。早安，凌太太！早安，王太太！你有沒有辦移民手續？已經辦妥了！		Buy an extra pack of ice, I’m immigrating tomorrow. If you buy that much, the ice will melt. Then you can put them in the refrigerator. goodbye. Good morning, Mrs. Ling! Good morning, Mrs. Wang! Did you go through immigration procedures? It’s done!

這個世界很多事情像我媽媽說的一樣，是命中注定的。自從阿龍拾回兩封信回來後，喂的事情好像接踵而來。很多你想像不到的怪事，不斷忽然間出現，亦忽然間消失。		Many things in this world, as my mother said, are doomed. Since Aaron picked up the two letters and returned, things seem to be coming one after another. Many strange things that you can’t imagine, keep appearing and disappearing all of a sudden.
我打死你這個壞孩子，你沒有用的，你是沒有用的！你還在這裏得意洋洋。你爸爸就是最壞的人，是他教導你這樣的。		I beat you to death, you bad boy, you are useless, you are useless! You are still smug here. Your dad is the worst person who taught you that.
每次跟你提起重新讀書的意見，你便利用成龍作為例子來反駁我，他沒有讀過大學，但仍然有大學的榮譽學位。那是人家的事，你知道人家在做什麼？人家是演戲的，傻孩子。		Every time you bring up the idea of studying at university, you use Jackie Chan as an example to counter me, he didn’t go to college, but still has an honorary degree from college. That’s their business, you know what he is doing? He is acting, you silly boy.
你的叔叔介紹你到廚房打工，你又說不做。鄰居楊太太邀請你到餐廳工作，你則說很悶。既然你覺得自己那麼能幹，你去找一份老闆的工作來做吧。		Your uncle introduced you to work in the kitchen, but you said no. The neighbor Mrs. Yang invited you to work in the restaurant, but you said it was boring. Since you think you are so capable, you can find a job as a boss and do it.
你看看我，心存善念是沒有好結果的，就像一個活生生的例子。這個世界就是這樣，當你越窮的時候，你更容易看到醜陋的東西。		Look at me, there is no good result in having good intentions, just like a living example. That’s the way the world is, the poorer you are, the more likely you are to see ugly things.
每個人都有一個故事，不只我有，阿龍、阿平，和阿珊也有，甚至連在廁所裏斬自己爸爸的何先生也一樣有自己的故事。有時我覺得成人一遇到不如意的事情發生，就會躲藏起來，或直接逃離，真的是沒有用！我真想用鋒利的刀，割他們的心出來，看看是什麼顏色的，也許連糞便也不如。		Everyone has a story, not only me, but also Lung, Aping, and Ashan. Even Mr. Ho, who beheaded his father in the toilet, also has his own story. Sometimes I feel that when an unpleasant thing happens, an adult will hide or just run away. It’s really useless! I really want to cut their hearts out with a sharp knife and see what color it is, maybe not even feces.
如果有一天我不見了，你會怎麼辦？到了那天才討論吧。你看看墳場有多壯觀，整個山都是死去的人，我第時死了一定會埋葬在這裏。不要這樣說，你一定會康復的。		What will you do if I disappear one day? Let’s discuss it until that day. Look at how spectacular the cemetery is. The whole mountain is full of dead people. When I die, I will be buried here. Don’t talk like that, you will definitely recover.
世界已經到了盡頭，有人願意提供金錢，邊有人願意為其效力。		The world has come to an end, and there are people who are willing to give money and others who are willing to work for it.
媽媽，我走了。對不起，你要保重。桌子上的書本，麻煩你幫我歸還到學校的圖書館，筆記便派給同學。爸爸要振作，努力生活，要愛護媽媽。這段日子真的過得非常不開心，自己選擇的事情，便要自己來承擔。在學校裏遇上了我喜歡的人，是我的不行。愛一個人真的很痛苦，對不起你們，我要先走一步。		Mom, I’m leaving. I’m sorry, but take care. Please help me return the books on the desk to the school library, and the notes will be distributed to classmates. Dad needs to cheer up, work hard, and take care of mom. These days are really very unhappy, and the things that I choose, I have to bear by myself. It’s my fault to meet someone I like at school. It’s really painful to love someone, I’m sorry, I have to go first.
生存的人喜歡評價死去的人，甚至鬧他們沒有勇氣。其實有多少人真正知道我們心裏想的是什麼，我相信沒有。但有一樣事情我相信是有的，便是我們現在都過得很快樂，因為要面對未知的世界，我們已得到免疫。		Surviving people like to judge the dead, even complaining that they have no courage. In fact, how many people really know what is on our minds, I believe not. But one thing I believe is true is that we are all very happy now, because we are immune to the unknown world.
世界是你們的，也是我們的，但是歸根結底也是你們的。你們年青人朝氣勃勃，正在興旺時期，好像早晨八九點鐘的太陽。希望寄托在你們身上。你現在收聽的是香港人民廣播電台，以上播放的是毛澤東同志對年青代表的談話。		The world is yours and ours, but in the end it is also yours. You young people are full of vigor and vitality, like the sun at eight or nine o’clock in the morning. Hope rests on you. You are listening to the Hong Kong People’s Broadcasting Station, and the above broadcast is Comrade Mao Zedong’s talk to the young representatives.

勞動的美會是建設的根基，我們聯同香港市民共同建設香港，使到香港更美，中國更美。		The beauty of working hard is the foundation of our national development. We will work with Hong Kong citizens to build Hong Kong so that Hong Kong is beautiful and China is more beautiful.
我們知道和相信的東西，當我們死去後，便不復存在。放下了這些東西之後，我們與外面的人有何分別？		What we know and believe ceases to exist when we die. After letting go of these things, what is the difference between us and the people out there?
用不用那麼緊張呀？我警告你，我們的兒子要升讀中學，請你不要常常跟他說廣東話廣東話。你也常常跟兒子說普通話，也不見得他成績進步了。你再不快點學會普通話，你也不能繼續當的士司機了。		Shouldn’t you be so nervous? I warn you that our son is going to secondary school, please don’t speak Cantonese to him that often. But you also often speak Mandarin to your son, and his grades may not improve. If you don’t learn Mandarin sooner, you can’t continue to be a taxi driver.
這十多年來，我們學得最多的是陰謀論，而我們失去最多的就是信任。		Over the past decade, what we have learned the most is conspiracy theories, and what we have lost the most is trust.
他正在追求一些不可能出現的東西。		He’s pursuing something that is impossible to happen.
反對不公義，就是做人的責任。政治的根本，就是道德。		To oppose injustice is our mission to be a human being. The foundation of politics is morality.
我經常在示威現場看見一個80多歲的老婆婆。他經歷過文化大革命、六四。他常常都鼓勵我，叫我不要常常被人看貾，做人要爭氣。我希望自己做得到。		I often see an old woman in her 80s at demonstration sites. He experienced the Cultural Revolution and June Fourth. She often encouraged me, telling me not to be looked at all the time and to live up to my expectations. I wish I could do it for myself.
長官說，假如看到清單上的文字，便要立即拍照記錄下來。賣雞蛋也犯法？賣雞蛋是沒有問題，但問題是「本地」二字犯規。		The police officer said that if you see the word from the list, you should take a picture and record it immediately. Is it illegal to sell eggs? There is no problem selling eggs, but the problem is that the word “local” is violating the law.
那麼我便問你，本地即是哪兒？就是香港啊！那麼本地蛋即是哪裏出產？也就是香港。如果我寫這是香港雞蛋，那麼有沒有問題？香港。。。。。沒有問題啊。		So I ask you, what is the meaning of local? It’s Hong Kong! So where do local eggs come from? That is Hong Kong. Is there a problem if I write this is a Hong Kong egg? Hongkong. . . . . No problem for sure.
同一隻雞蛋，假如我寫是本地蛋，便有問題。寫香港假如我寫這是香港雞蛋，那就沒有問題。究竟講不講邏輯？		The same egg, if I write it is a local egg, there will be a problem. Write about Hong Kong If I write that this is a Hong Kong egg, then there is no problem. Is it logical or not?